reflections

I've found myself sitting back a lot lately and reflecting on what God has done in my life in the past, what He is currently doing, and what could be done in the future. There are many days where I long for past times because of the sweetness of His presence or the ease of prayer and the reading of Scripture. There are other days that I don't look upon as being so sweet, but as I live in their after-effects I am able to visualize a bigger piece of God's plan for my life than ever before. Being back in the States for longer than I was gone to Kenya has brought me to a place where it is no longer every hour that I remember the kids or the poverty or the spiritual battle. As it moves to 10 times a day instead of 24, I long for that dependence that I had upon the Lord for those months and I find myself in a place that I prayed I'd never end up again...where I allow doubts or distractions into my daily life and I trade grace, acceptance, strength, peace and forgiveness for the filth of this world. I am clinging desperately to this verse:

"He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken." Psalm 62:6

This is Truth. He IS my rock. He IS my salvation. He IS my fortress. Therefore, I CANNOT be shaken. Wow, what encouragement. Not only does this proclaim that I'm not alone, it also proclaims that I am forgiven, accepted, protected and provided for. I can see over these past few months how God's provision continues to shine through and how my unfaithfulness at times is simply a place where God will be glorified more when He gives the me strength to turn to Him and not something that is fleeting.

The other verse that I'm drawn to lately is one that speaks to God's rule over creation and my utter dependence on him. It has also reminded me that God hasn't just called me to be His daughter and sit passively, but He has promised that as He has called me to go and do in His name, I am given the blessing of being able to ask Him for help.

"You did not choose me, but I close you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."
John 15:16

I keep this verse on my mind as I search for God's desire and plan for my life. I feel that, as scripture says, I am not made for this World...and may not be made for life in the States either! Through this I am seeking hard after the Lord and requesting that He open doors where He desires, and close them where His hand shall not lead me. I ask that you join me in praying the following verse during this time of prayer, transition and seeking:

"Take CAPTIVE my thoughts, making them OBEDIENT to CHRIST."
II Corinthians 10:5

I am daily thankful for you and for the role that you play in my life. I am excited to see how the Lord will use you over the next several months to push me, exhort me, encourage me and love me! Thank you for that!

Alright...here's a little life update!

I have accepted a leadership position at The Village Church as a home group coach. In layman's terms this means that I will be leading the leaders of the Bible study-type groups that our church has in the areas where we live. This will include intensive training and then being given the chance to teach, exhort and love girls in my community. I am extremely excited to see how the Lord will use this in the lives of these girls as well as my own. There may also be an opportunity in the months ahead to return to Kenya by being part of a team from the church. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has instore!

A few short weeks from now I will be moving out of the house I've lived in since January and into an apartment alone. After much prayer and consideration I have found myself in a place where I cannot glorify God in my finances and live here at the same time. I've made the difficult decision to sacrifice amazing roommates and a beautiful living space for a God that is begging me to give up parts of me that are not glorifying to Him. While I will miss living under the same roof as Amy and Shannon, I am excited to see what the Lord will teach me as I follow in obedience.

In other news, I'm having knee surgery soon!!! It turns out after a long and extremely fun race with Chelsea, I've torn my meniscus and it needs to be repaired. I haven't scheduled surgery yet, but I expect it will be in July sometime and that I'll be out of work for a week or two. We'll see!!! For those of you who know me well, you know that I tend to have one bigger injury a year...looks like 2008 has been taken care of! Onward to 2009!

Have a wonderful week friends!